Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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