New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize