I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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