to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
foreskin is a definite game changer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
