I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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