spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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