The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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