I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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