I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
