did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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