is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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