I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
