You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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