so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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