im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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