My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
