As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
