I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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