I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
