And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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