gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
