It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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