remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
