I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
