things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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