Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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