we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
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