the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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