She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
