I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
