I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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