dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
