Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
