Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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