Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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