Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
