been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
