I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
