I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize