dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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