Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
