Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
