I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
