she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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