Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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