its not stalking. its research.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
