So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
