No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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