so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's blow job season.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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