and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
