So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize