He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
