Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
