She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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