one might say we're banned from that church
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
