She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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