"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
