Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
