I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
