dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize